ReflectNZ, Health and Safety Northland

Mediation Services

There are times in our lives when we need a little extra help: help with communicating, help with bridging misunderstandings, help with creating healthy, functional relationships. A skilled mediator will create a safe, supportive environment where both parties are able to express their needs clearly and calmly while working towards an outcome; whether that be a co-parenting situation or divorce/separation negotiations.

My approach to mediation is both respectful and unbiased; working equally with both parties to resolve disputes, to enhance communication and to achieve positive, lasting outcomes.

Please note: Shona’s services are designed to support and facilitate effective communication only – Shona does not offer a counselling service, nor is she a court-approved parenting service.

Parenting through divorce or separation can be one of the hardest challenges a couple can ever face – and it is equally hard for the children involved. Maintaining healthy, constructive communication throughout separation can be extremely difficult: emotions run high, pain runs deep, and unfortunately many adults simply cannot find the neutral ground they need. Studies have shown that children from separated parents can flourish without any lasting emotional scarring, however the key to ensuring their wellbeing is to maintain a healthy co-parenting relationship.

What does this look like? It can be as simple as keeping your body language calm while around your ex-partner and using respectful language. It can be as simple as allowing your children to call the other parent whenever they wish to, allowing them to pass on exciting news from the other household without any fear of negative reaction. Both parents’ ability to accept and respect is paramount in any healthy co-parenting relationship.

Maintaining respectful relationships can be challenging: there is nothing quite like the emotional minefield that comes with splitting from a long-term partner. Even without children involved, the logistics of separation can be completely overwhelming. Whilst dividing furniture, sorting finances, deciding on who looks after the family pets, every decision is emotionally loaded. Using a mediator to assist with the process of communicating through divorce or separation can make a big difference to how the events play out, as logic is often in short supply when emotions take over.

Shona uses a process of coaching each party in a single session each, prior to the mediation session, beginning the work of reframing goals toward mutually acceptable mediated outcomes.

Take the first step towards positive communication: contact Shona Kelly for supportive mediation advice today.